i. am. tired.

hello, tired. i'm sleepy. nice to meet you.

a bit of a conundrum... i can't sleep until my husband is ready for bed. i'm cursed with ridiculously light sleep and i am sure it annoys people. it certainly annoys me. if i go to sleep and then later he comes in to shower and pick his clothes out for the next day, i will wake up. if i wake up, it's nearly impossible to fall back asleep. it really bites.

to solve this (kinda), i stay up very late. i stay up and wait for him (well, i am also up chatting with a girlfriend and/or watching something like project runway or housewives of OC, but anyway, i digress...). i tend to stay up later than i normally would, because i'm waiting for him. if i wasn't waiting on him, i might do my thang, then hit the sack. but when i am done doing whatever, and i'm ready to go to bed and he's not....i stay up further. last night, for example, he was on-call (as he often tends to be). i had worked out earlier and was not ready to go to bed just yet. first, we had a heart-to-heart at the kitchen table about some stuff. i am so grateful to have a husband who is an excellent listener AND is full of sage advice and wise thoughts for me to ponder. afterwards, i went upstairs and watched a show i'd dvr'd (the tori spelling one - LOVE that show!). i went downstairs and checked on jim...still working. so i read my scriptures, i enjoyed a face mask. check on jim...still working. when he's working like that, he can't leave his laptop...not even to take a quick shower. so i went back upstairs and watched more dvr'd shows. by this time, i was exhausted. i went downstairs again and the poor man was still at it. i felt so bad for him, but at the same time - i need sleep!! so he suggested i just pick his clothes out for him and he'd shower in the kid's bathroom. so, i basically stayed up an extra two hours for nothing.

blahhhh.

so then, after a couple hours of sleep, jackson wakes up! he was NOT happy. i changed him, fed him, slathered him in creams and ointments (his skin has been bothering him)...he was inconsolable. ugh, awful night. after an hour, i took my exhausted self and my pissed off baby and woke jim up. he gave jackson a blessing. jackson continued to fuss and squirm and scream. i needed a break from jackson because of my agitated state....but then returned and jim went back to sleep. the screaming continued for the next hour and i was beside myself. i finally just had to close the door and return to bed. i could hear him screaming. soooo frustrating!! after what seemed like an eternity, he quieted.

and then i couldn't fall asleep.

arghh!!!!! and THEN, when i finally began to drift off...guess who woke up and started to scream again?!! i dragged my sorry self in there and picked him up. again, he wasn't comfortable. he was squirmy and fussy. after about 15 minutes of trying to rock him back to sleep, i gave up and placed him in his crib. i rubbed his back and walked out. he was still crying.

it's been ten minutes. he's asleep again. *sigh*

and i am wide awake, writing this blog. night's like these are why i need to go to bed much, MUCH earlier than i do.