strange dreams and other stuff

note to self: do not eat a bunch of lemon bars before going to bed.

i had the weirdest dreams, last night!! let's see if i can summarize for ya'll. i have forgotten most of it, but here's the basic idea...

i was working for oprah and totally forgot about a deadline she'd given me. we were supposed to have a meeting with some people about a really important social function. i was the one that promised her i'd have this amazing idea to propose to all the VIPs at this meeting. well, i was so wrapped up in the other stuff going on, like getting lost at a carnival and almost dying when the ferris wheel rolled into a swamp. yeah. so, after that happened, some dude speeds by and steals my purse! so then i am chasing him through the carnival and then finally catch up to him somewhere in cental park. yeah - don't ask me. i grab my purse back from him and start hitting him with it, when a crowd gathers. everyone is really excited. turns out, the guy is actor d.b. sweeney. hmm... he apologizes and tells me he stole my purse to prepare for a part he'd be playing in an upcoming movie. just plain weird. he starts signing autographs for the demanding crowd, and i turn around and suddenly find myself face to face with a very angry oprah. yikes! it doesn't register, until oprah asks me where my proposal is and reminds me that the VIPs are in the meeting waiting for us. i was horrified! we rush to the meeting and oprah walks in with a smile, giving our apologies. the long table is filled with important people with very dull yet intimidating expressions on their faces. oprah says a few words, then hands it all over to me. holy cow. they are all staring at me in the dead silence. nothing is coming to me. luckily, my assistant (some perky and annoying short chick) gets it going with some basic ideas. but they are still waiting for the meat. i am supposed to have this amazing, jaw-dropping, glamorous event planned - and nothing is coming to me!! finally, i glance out the window and see a leaf fall from the tree. that one thing suddenly gives me all kinds of ideas about a fall social. i interrupt short assistant chick and take over with my ideas for these intricate center pieces with oranges and reds and twigs and eggplant-colored drapery and blah blah blah. everyone was astounded and they all stood and applauded at the end. we all shook hands with the VIPs. oprah came over to me, and said, "beeeeep, beeeeep, beeeep." yeah....my cell phone alarm went off. it was time to hop in the shower.

that was definitely the strangest dream i have had in a long time - and i've had some pretty strange ones! this, after eating a bunch of lemon bars, going to bed way too late, and being woken several times by james throughout the night. i think i got a collective four hours of sleep last night. ughh...

today has been emotional. it started out really well, and i felt extremely happy (yes, even after the bad sleep and crazy dreams). however, i soon learned that someone i really care about was feeling hurt. even worse, they felt hurt by me. i always try to see where another person is coming from, so i listened intently. i also shared my own thoughts and feelings on things. after some time, it seemed everything was resolved. i better understood this person and i felt badly for my actions (well, lack there-of). i felt a surge of love and concern for this person, and i wanted to do something nice. in other words, i wanted to take immediate action because i hadn't been doing much of anything. i have been so consumed and overwhelmed by my own life situation, that i have failed to be the kind of friend that i would like to be. so i cut some flowers from my garden, put together a plate of lemon bars, and piled the kids into the van. when i arrived at this person's house, i thought it was going to be a nice surprise. however, this person was upset yet again. this time, it was due to a third party.

now let me segue for a moment here. i really, really, REALLY dislike certain things. here is today's list:
1) snooping
2) third party interference
3) drama

it really irks me that my friend and i were able to talk and work everything out, and then a third party steps in a smashes it all to pieces. naturally, this is going to cause some drama. why would the third party share their perception about something when it's only going to be hurtful - for no reason? seriously, what is it going to accomplish?

so, we talked more - this time, in person. i prefer it when everything is out in the open and discussed honestly. i can't stand deception, snooping, sneakiness, drama, and anything else related to being hurtful. it's totally unacceptable.

during our talk, it was brought to my attention that i come across preachy. i have never thought of myself as preachy, since i don't approach things with that intention. it was good to hear. as dr. phil says, "you can't change what you don't acknowledge." at the same time, i am not going to walk on eggshells, concerned with every word i say. for example, my last blog was about service. that blog was in no way supposed to come across preachy. i was simply exploring the topic. i was honestly enthralled with the subject matter, on the morning i typed it. the reader will note that i never say, "you all need to do this and that." instead, i use the word, "we." i include myself in the things i say. if i am being preachy, then i guess you can say i am preaching to myself, too!

today was an eye opener. i appreciate those moments when the light bulb goes on and i am given a chance to see myself from another's perspective. those moments provide opportunity for change. i'll be the first to admit i am far from perfect. we all are. there is only One who was and is perfect. it is the Savior's example that i strive to follow, and i always fall short. but that is why we have grace. hopefully, we will not judge one another as we are all striving for that perfection we are asked to reach for. if i come across preachy or hypocritical - it's certainly not my intention. i know what is right, and i like to write and talk about truth and what will bring us joy. however, i don't always make the best decisions myself. so, there you have it. i am not perfect. no big surprise there! :o)

i've blogged long enough. thank goodness for naptimes! now, i am going to tackle that paper i need to write for class. i am determined to have a totally free weekend. the kids are with their dad this weekend, and i don't want my rare and valuable "me" time to be bogged down with assignments. i want my time to be wide open, without a care. my goodness, i think i have had enough cares in my life!! i need and deserve time for myself. i have plans...wonderful plans. i am excited!