twentyfourseven

have you ever felt like you were being watched? i have. in fact, i am being watched right this very moment. hello. hello, little girl....laying her head down on my lap, as i type this...

i am a mother. there is nothing i can do alone. even if i have to pee, they all follow me like my sweet little shadows. so i sit here, typing this blog with one hand, as i run my fingertips through my baby girl's golden curls. at 14 months, she's finally sprouting hair. that's my girl...

i can hear my older daughter, coughing in the next room. she's had a nasty cough for about a week now, poor thing. she is mommy's little helper. at six, she is wise beyond her years and always willing to lend a helping hand (or foot, if the door is closing and she wants to stop it for me). she is a chatterbox, and often drives me bonkers when i am desperate for some silence. and yet, when they are gone....i miss them so much. the silence screams at me, and i want them back. i finally attain calm and i want the chaos to return....go figure.

my boy is two and a half. he's my little sweetheart. he's always ready with a cheesy grin and a tight hug, delivered full speed ahead like a football player. he's my goofy, mischievous little man with blue eyes, wide-eyed, as he stands in front of me, naked, claiming not to know who threw his wet diaper on top of the television set.

i am honored to hold the most difficult job in existence: "stay-at-home" mommy. my hours are long. i do not get to take breaks at a specific time. when i do get a "break," it usually involves laying on the couch for a whopping two minutes, with my eyes closed...until my baby girl moseys on over and whacks me in the face with a hammer from my son's plastic toolbox. "uh-ohhhh.." she giggles, as i groan and rub my forehead.

those who know me, know i'm a neat freak at heart. i love to be organized and dream of making my home look like it's straight out of a catalog. that dream used to be a reality. nowadays, my fridge is covered in children's artwork, the floor is always sprinkled with toys, i can barely keep up with the dishes, and my gorgeous bedding is covered in piles of folded laundry, ready to be put away whenever i find the chance to do so.

life is incredibly difficult, as a divorcing mother of three. but..i love my job. i love my children. i have been blessed beyond measure. i thank God for my life.